


Existential crisis

by Idril_Whatsit



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Brotherly Love, Comfort/Angst, Gen, Headcanon-ish Elements, Idia has so much anxieties he feels sick, Ortho doing his best, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, The Shroud brothers will always be there for eachother you can't change my mind, Wholesome brothers being wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idril_Whatsit/pseuds/Idril_Whatsit
Summary: Ortho notices his brother doesn't feel good. He knows Idia usually has a lot of anxieties at this time of the year, but it's not quite like the other times this happened.Nevertheless, he tries to help him calm down.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Existential crisis

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Crise exixtentielle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697970) by [Idril_Whatsit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idril_Whatsit/pseuds/Idril_Whatsit). 



> Hello !  
> This is my first Twisted Wonderland fanfic and I just wanted to do something simple and the end result is just... *EMOTIONS*, lol. Not to mention I was pretty much compelled to write something about Idia since, well, I know a thing or two about social anxieties and relate to him a lot. And, you know, kinda using this as a way to exorcises a few of my own demons in the meantime.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy ! ^^

\- “Big brother, I brought the snacks !”

Ortho had just entered the room, finding Idia, as usual, on the computer. However, the elder didn’t respond, nor did he turn to his brother when the latter arrived.

While he took note of this, the young robot thought Idia was simply focused on what he was doing. He went to the cupboards so that he could put away the divers sweets and salty biscuits he brought back.

\- “Sorry for the wait, it’s because I met Yuu and Grim on the way. We started to talk and we didn't see how quick time passed. Ha ha !”

Idia still hadn’t said a word. This wouldn’t have worried Ortho that much if it wasn’t for the fact he noticed a strange detail.

Idia was doing nothing. Not “nothing” as in, maybe he didn’t know what to do or he was stuck with whatever he was doing. No. His hands weren’t on the keyboard or the mouse, but put on the desk, right in front of those. And while it was hard to see from where Ortho was, Idia seemed to be staring at the screen… without actually seeing it.

As this was worrying him, the youngest asked this question :

\- “... Is something wrong ? I find you… oddly silent.”

Without turning to face his little brother, Idia said weakly :

\- “... I don’t feel too good…”

\- “Huh ?” almost exclaimed the boy, “Since when ? Are you sick ?”

\- “I... I don’t think so… It happened out of the blue… about fifteen minutes ago…”

Suddenly, as his system was searching for a solution or an answer to the current event, Ortho made the parallel between what was happening and an anterior event.

Or rather, _several_ anterior events...

\- “... Big brother, are you having a somatic episode ?”

\- “I think so, yeah…”

Coming closer to his elder, he indeed noticed that he looked very, _very,_ tired.

\- “Where does it hurt ?”

\- “The head. I… feel a bit nauseous too.”

\- “Did you take a painkiller ?”

\- “Yes.”

\- “What anxieties do you have ?”

\- “I... I don’t know…”

\- “So you have no idea of their nature ?”

\- “No.”

\- “Did you take an anxiolytic ?”

\- “Yes.”

\- “Good !” said Ortho as he joined his hands with a distinct clap, “In that case, there’s only one thing left to do. You need to lie down for a bit.”

\- “Don’t wanna.”

With that as a response, the young robot put his fists on his hips and gave a piercing gaze to the geek who, on his hand, was looking away.

\- “Big bro, staying on the computer won’t do any good for your headache !”

\- “It’ll pass…”

\- “Idia !”

Ortho forced Idia to look at him by holding him by the shoulders.

\- “... I’m serious.” he said in a softer tone, “Do you know to which point your fatigue is visible ? You look like a zombie !...”

The young man remained quiet. All he did was slowly lower his head.

The youngest resumed :

\- “... At least fifteen minutes... Ok ?”

\- “... Ok…”

Idia got up from his seat. As he got down on his bed, lying on his back and over the covers, Ortho in the meanwhile was quickly reviewing the last times he had somatic episodes.

Always when his birthday was approaching.

He hadn’t realised right away what was the issue as, this year, his episode came sooner than the previous times. Usually, they happen around december 10th. Today was only the 2nd.

Had something occurred that could possibly be responsible for triggering his episode sooner ?

He’ll think about this later. For now, his big brother needed him.

\- “There…” he repositioned his arms to put them to his sides, “try to relax... Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.”

Idia does as such. Little by little, he relaxed, realising how tense he was up until now. He already started to feel better.

In the meantime, Ortho was meticulously scanning his brother to find any physical or psychic anomaly. As expected, there was no infection or internal wound, nor was there any organ failures. However, his brain showed signs of peculiar activities.

Perfectly logical given the circumstances, somatization being an “illness” linked to the mind not feeling well. In other words, the brain is playing tricks on the body.

The frontal lobe was active, but very little compared to everything else, which showed that not only was Idia emotionally unstable, it was also very difficult for him to think rationally at the moment.

On the contrary, the parietal lobe was clearly agitated, probably because of the headache and the nausea. Or rather the opposite, actually. The brainstem and the thalamus seemed to also react to those ailments, but in a much less virulent way, proving once again that the cause was psychic.

And finally, the temporal lobe. Not as active as the parietal, but still more than the other areas that weren’t showing any abnormal activities. It was highly probable that whatever were the anxieties tormenting Idia, they were linked to memories that must have resurfaced, consciously or unconsciously. If it was purely unconscious, getting rid of those anxieties would prove to be difficult…

Ortho was running a few simulations to find a way to help his brother when he heard noise.

Sobbing.

\- “B- Big bro ?”

Idia, in between two whimpers, whispered :

\- “... _Sorry_ …”

\- “W… What ? What did you say ?”

\- “I-” he looked at the young-one with profound sadness, “I’m sorry… for being a-... a burden…”

\- “Idia, no !” exclaimed Ortho, “You’re not a burden, you’re my brother !”

The tears didn’t stop.

\- “I... I f*cked up... **Completely** f*cked up... I-... I’m good for **nothing** …”

\- “Stop ! Don’t say that !”

While the action was awkward due to the fact the young man was lying down, Ortho hugged him.

\- “That’s not true, stop thinking about that !”

The robot had indeed a clear enough idea of what he was talking about... And Idia agreed, the boy was right, he had to stop thinking about that. But the real problem was how ?

Mimicking his little brother, he hugged him back. Not saying anything else.

Ortho himself was crying thinking back on it.

\- “... Big bro, you know I love you, right ? I don't know where I’d be without you…”

He was wiping his tears when he realised what he had just said. He chuckled.

\- “Pff, what am I saying ?... I’d be **nowhere** without you…”

His words couldn’t be more true... Idia had a faint smile.

\- “... I love you too, Ortho... and I think... I think I wouldn’t be anywhere without you either…”

The two brothers stayed like this for a while. In the silence. Comforting each other by their presence alone.

Then, Idia ended up breaking the silence, the thoughts roaming in his head not wanting to stay inside.

\- “You know... Sometimes I wonder why I don’t go out… I do realise how absurd it is… not going out... Really... There are days where the desire to go out is there… It exists… somewhere... But there’s still that lingering fear… If only… If only I knew how to overcome it…”

Ortho looked at Idia. Despite the lack of a visible mouth on his current gear, he was obviously smiling.

\- “Don’t worry. We still have time to figure out a solution.”

Idia smiled too, even if internally, he wasn’t convinced of it happening anytime.

Ortho got up.

\- “Are you feeling better ? According to my scan, your brain waves are more stable.”

\- “... My headache has calmed down a bit.”

\- “You should rest a little longer.”

The elder nodded. He adjusted his position before closing his eyes again.

Ortho stayed to make sure all went well. That being said, he couldn’t stop thinking back at the fact this episode was different from the others. There had to be a reason why.

Laying his eyes on the computer, he noticed one of the tabs on the browser was the mailbox. However, it wasn’t open and he couldn’t see its content. He was tempted to go check it, but he knew Idia would notice if he was to see it now.

Unless...

He decided to remotely connect himself to the computer. He won’t look suspicious that way.

Let’s see...

…

… !

Ah...

Of course...

He should have expected it.

A very specific mail was in the reception box. Idia seemed to have opened it then completely discarded the unread mails following his reading.

Object: None.

Sent by: “Father”.

…

No matter what happens, it’s always his fault...


End file.
